My Romance, a Smokescreen
Copyright © 1993 by David Reitzes
Act One
ANDY, a young man
MONICA, a young woman
NANCY, a young woman
HEWITT, an old man
YORK, an old man
TAYLOR, an old man
WISE OWL
FLOWERS
TREES
FOREST CREATURES
CITIZENS
BOY
FOUR WOMEN
VOICE OF LATIN INSTRUCTOR
A park. TREES. WOMEN stand motionless, staring blankly. BOY sits by a phonograph, lifting the needle onto the turntable. A scratchy old record is heard.
Salve. Non sum tua mater.
Record fades. BOY disappears as WISE OWL enters.
Snaps his fingers. Lights flash.
Claps hand. Blackout.
[In darkness.] It's just that simple.
Lights up. MONICA, ANDY enter.
Quickly surveying the area, he touches the ground in a few key places. At each spot a FLOWER blooms. TREES, FLOWERS break into a dance of life, generous in its spirit of discovery, at times skittish in its newfound joy. When it ends, ALL freeze. THE FOUR WOMEN remain oblivious.
Abruptly, FLOWERS, TREES fall dead. ANDY looks from one to the other. After a beat, BIRDS, FOREST CREATURES fall dead. Horror-stricken, ANDY casts about for some explanation. With a pleading look he turns to MONICA, who remains unmoved. Touching him on the cheek, she turns and exits. He stands silently, dejectedly. WISE OWL hovers about, surveying the carnage.
WISE OWL pulls out a sheaf of papers.
Shows him a diagram to prove it.
Yup. Nothing complicated here.
ANDY turns, having noticed the WOMEN glaring at him. With solemn expressions, they each produce a camera, take aim, and snap a flash picture of him. In one uniform gesture each extends the photo to him with a flourish.
She falls dead.
Hold on a minute. Hey!
She falls dead. WISE OWL looks away.
She falls dead. WISE OWL flips through his papers.
She falls dead. WISE OWL whistles tunelessly.
My God, am I going to kill you all?
He exits, running. WISE OWL coolly collects the photos. Blackout.
Spotlight follows ANDY as he enters, dressed as God.
I put you in the garden
Wasn't good enough for you
I sent down the flood
You all said, What did we do?
You tell me you love me
But your words just don't ring true
(You know what I think)
You don't know what love is
You don't know what love is
You break another promise
With every passing breath
Look what you did to my son
When he spoke from Nazareth
All he said was love your enemies
Yeah, you love 'em half to death
You don't know what love is
You don't know what love is
People often ask me
Jehovah, what's the use?
Let's just drop the big one
Let's turn off the juice
Well, I'm a fool to want you
So I ain't got no excuse
But I'm going to tell you one more time
I'm going to tell you one more time
I could have left you in bondage
For all it means to you
So you can keep your Christmas cards
Your Hail Marys, too
Until you know the kind of hurt
Your put your saviour through
You don't know what love is
You don't know what love is
You don't know what love is.
The mood holds for a beat, then the lights come up, loud cheers and applause are heard, he smiles and bows, and merry music plays. He waves and blows kisses for a moment, then exits as the sounds and lights fade.
Lights up. WISE OWL reads from a large storybook as ANDY enters, pacing agitatedly. Music begins slowly.
CITIZENS enter and swarm happily around ANDY, who is momentarily caught up in the dance. The music quickens.
But something went wrong.
The music stops. CITIZENS freeze.
The people he touched all died.
CITIZENS all fall dead.
CITIZENS start to get up.
CITIZENS buzz in agreement.
I think you're --
Fanfare.
They converge upon him as the music starts again. WISE OWL beams. ANDY howls, fighting off the crowd.
CITIZENS gather around WISE OWL, laughing hysterically. ANDY sadly hangs his head, slowly turns, and exits. Sounds and lights fade. In the darkness an old record fades up.
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you
My love.
Fades. Blackout.